so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
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