i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
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