what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
Why is there a wet sock in my garbage? Why did I chug so much red wine? Why was someone signing into my iCloud account at 4 am in China? Why do I do self-destructive reckless things? So many questions.
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
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