Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
Randomize
