She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
Randomize
