Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
Randomize
