great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
Randomize
