on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
Randomize
