It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
Randomize
