Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
Randomize
