Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
Randomize
