The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
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