I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
Randomize
