end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
Randomize