It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
Randomize
