Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
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