i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
Randomize
