Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
Randomize
