so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
Randomize
