he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
Randomize
