A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
Randomize
