Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
Randomize
