is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
Randomize
