Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
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