Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Randomize
