this beer tastes like vomit already
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
Why is there bacon in the couch?
Randomize
