I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
Randomize
