i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
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