I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
Randomize
