so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
Randomize
