One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
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