now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
Randomize
