what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
Randomize
