physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
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