dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
Randomize
