Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
Randomize
