do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
Is it weird I updated my facebook status from my phone while I had explosive diarrhea in my boss's private bathroom?
That would be awkward if he commented on your status
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
Randomize
