Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
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