You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
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