Can i not drive my cunt home
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
Randomize
