If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
Randomize
