Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
She's trying to sext her husband for the first time. I'm feeding her lines. It is 3 am and I am playing Cyrano for my wasted big sister TELL ME I AM NOT THE BEST SISTER IN LAW ON THE PLANET.
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
Randomize
