omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
Every time I type "should" my phone autocorrects to "shouldn't". even my phone knows my ideas are terrible.
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize
