The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
Brought him brownies before taking his pants off. I'm like the Martha fucking Stewart of booty calls. Walk of shame be damned.
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
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