i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
Randomize
