Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
Randomize
