We're facebook friends in real life
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
Randomize
