yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
Santa Claus winked at me two tables over at the Chinese place tonight I was almost afraid he knew "getting laid" was my Christmas wish
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
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