She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
Randomize
