ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Randomize
