im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
Randomize
